Where Have You Been
by Delle Tuh
Summary: They call holidays an option for a reason. I heard you’re coming back to life just for the fourth. I’ve been catching all your ghosts for every season. I pray to God you won’t come back here anymore. Do you pray with him, too? A Bella and Edward piece.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note: **Manchester Orchestra is my new favorite band of all time. They are so amazing, seriously. On you tube, if you look up this song with Manchester playing with Brand New, it's…incendiary. Seriously. Magical. A religious experience. It gave me this story. What if Bella never jumped off the cliff by herself, what if Bella never had to go to Italy to save him? What if they never got back together at all? And what if Edward Cullen comes back one day? Review Revolution! -Delta

**Where Have You Been**

_What the fuck._

She screamed the words in her head as loud as she could manage, the noise reverberating and echoing in her thoughts, surrounding all that she was.

But with Edward Cullen standing in front of her, she cannot think, or say anything more.

He is unchanged by the passing of time, like she expected, but even more painful was the sight. He was perfect, like he always has been, like he always will be. His eyes are the beautiful warm ochre color she remember from her dreams, his skin is the same creamy alabaster.

"Bella…"

And oh, his voice. Velvet melodies that enchanted her while she slept those many years ago. Five years, they flash through her mind as though she's trying to convince herself she's eighteen again, and everything is back to normal.

She wonders what he's thinking to himself, wonders if he can see every change in her body, in her face. She knows there's laugh lines and her eyes are a little heavier from the pain he caused. Her hair is lighter, from being in the sun down at La Push every day of the summer. She's not as slim either, her curves are more defined and filled in. She wonders if he notices at all.

She knows he does by the look in his eyes.

It's sadness… sadness mixed with relief.

And for that, she is angry.

"What the fuck?"

She finally says it and he winces like it stung, she hopes silently it did.

But he hoped for nothing more.

Tears threaten to fill her eyes but she refuses them, refuses the pain that surfaces with his own.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you here?" she says, stepping closer and crossing her arms in front of her chest, "Is everyone okay?"

"Everyone is fine," he whispered to the ground, so soft she can barely hear it, "Coming here was a mistake, and for that I am gravely sorry."

This makes her even angrier, and as he turned to run, she screams.

"Don't you dare!" her chest heaves with breaths that hurt, her eyes sting from the sight of him and the hole that Jacob has been trying to fill opens and flares, burning with everything she's feeling, "Don't you dare walk out on me again."

"Bella…" he looks up and into her eyes, she sees pain there, too, "I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to save you."

"From what, Edward?"

Saying his name hurts but she pushes through it.

"If you could have saved me from anything, it should have been _this_," tears spill quietly down her cheeks, and he can't do anything but watch, "I prayed every day after you left for you to come back to me. You never did. And soon, I was praying you would never come back ever again. I'm finally happy, with Jacob, with everything. I. Am. Happy."

"That's good, Bella," he sounds genuinely happy for her, but she doesn't want him to.

"No, Edward. It isn't," her voice lowers, and the pain takes over, "I didn't want to be happy without you."

"I'm sorry," he whispers again, and this time, his voice cuts her like a knife.

"What am I supposed to do, now?" she asks, wiping the tears from beneath her eyes, "Act like you never showed up? What did you come here for in the first place. Why would you fuck all of this up?!"

She's on overload and can't compute, she's lost inside of the maze that is her thoughts and she can't find control. Her knees buckle, and as the ground comes up to catch her, those beautiful iron arms catch her and enfold her against his cold, heartless chest.

Her skin crawls, but the sensation is familiar. And secretly, she wants it.

Tears fall like rain, and sobs tears at her chest, wracking through her whole body.

To be truthful, he doesn't know why he's here. Her future disappeared a long time ago when she fell in love with Jacob, this he knew from Alice. He needed to see her, make sure she was just as he left her, if not a little more sour and pessimistic. If not a little older, even more beautiful.

And quite frankly, he doesn't know what he's going to do.

What _they're_ going to do.

Right now he just holds her, rocks her back and forth and waits for the tears, the pain, to stop.

Whenever that is, he'll figure it out then.

For now, he just needs to feel her.

And so that's what he does.

--


End file.
